Sleeping Beauty
by Nyako-chan
Summary: On hold. Reworking. Please don't read.
1. Night

            Warnings: Slight AU.  JouKai.  Don't know if it's one-sided or not.  One little thing might possibly sort of squick people out.

Rarrrr.  I haven't written any fics in so long.  So now you get a practice fic.  I actually like this one quite a bit (at the moment).  I just had to get a couple of ideas/plot-bunnies out of my system.  First was my wondering about what would happen in a Malik vs. Seto duel.  Seto would lose.  No doubt.  But I also think while Malik was willing to send his minions after Yami/Yugi, he wanted to duel Kaiba for a reason.  And that's because Kaiba would be the most fun for him to break.  Another was getting out my irritation at smut that features Seto enjoying bondage (on himself).  I have no problem with uke Seto.  I love uke Seto.  I only accept uke Seto.  I think he needs to learn how to submit to someone.  But I also think Seto is the type who would be extremely claustrophobic and afraid of being restrained.  Bad experiences for him.  And… the other thing is simple and will be explained at the end of the fic. 

Get reading.  Please.

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Jounouchi couldn't sleep.  Damn him for not letting him sleep.  He was supposed to be resting right now.  But he was too anxious.  He couldn't relax.  He quietly tried to head to the door.

"Hey."  It was soft.  He hadn't thought Honda was still awake.

"Couldn't sleep, just going for a walk."  He sounded nervous even to himself.  Honda arched an eyebrow.

"Just don't go try and kill _him for it, okay?"  Honda smiled knowingly.  Honda _knew_.  Of course Honda knew.  But it was still unnerving.  Jounouchi shook his head and laughed_

"I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid."  Although he had considered it too many times to count.

"You could've fooled me, burning-sense-of-justice boy."  But Honda was just joking.  Or maybe he wasn't.  Maybe Honda knew Jounouchi better than Jounouchi knew himself.  "Just try to get back and get some rest, okay?"  Jounouchi smirked.

"Yes, mother."  Honda shot him a glare, but it was half-hearted.

The night was disturbingly quiet.  His footsteps seemed so loud.  Jounouchi practically expected everyone to wake up and yell at him.  But no one did.  They were too exhausted.  So he walked through the hallway alone, his own footsteps making him uncomfortable.

And then the room was in front of him.  And Jounouchi wanted to go in, but he didn't at the same time.  There was no reason for him not to, no one out to see him.  Even so, Jounouchi could've sworn something was holding him back.  Apprehension held him in place as if he were caught on rose thorns.  But he sucked in his breath and bit his lip and walked in the room.

The room where Seto Kaiba lay.  Almost dead, but not quite.  Moonlight filtered in through the window as if its sole purpose was to illuminate the unconscious boy.  Jounouchi cursed himself for not having done anything.  For not trying to stop the duel when he knew no good could come out of it.

_"You're so much smarter than the rest of them, Kaiba.  You don't fear death.  You know that in death, everything is over.  They can't hurt you anymore.  But when you're restrained, you're weak and vulnerable.  At the world's mercy.  Are you afraid now, Kaiba? Winged things can't stand being caged."  The darker Malik's words dark were filled with smugness and undertones that Jounouchi didn't want to think about._

_            "Why should I fear you?"  His shaky voice wasn't very believable.  Kaiba was trembling now, his fear visible to everyone.  Jounouchi had clenched his fists so tight the little crescent imprints on his palms were starting to bleed.  Kaiba wasn't supposed to act like this.  He wasn't supposed to be afraid.  Kaiba never showed fear, not even with Pegasus.  But then again, Pegasus wasn't the devil incarnate.  And Pegasus didn't have Kaiba slowly being devoured by the shadows._

_            There was a perverseness about the entire duel.  The way the tendrils of darkness slowly began to creep up Kaiba's legs, twisting around his body reminded Jounouchi of the pornographic manga some of the boys in his old gang read, where screaming schoolgirls were violated by tentacles.  Only Kaiba wasn't screaming.  His voice had left him completely.  Malik toyed with the blue-eyed boy like a cat teasing its prey right before it went for the killing blow.  He exploited the weakness shamelessly, taking the smallest chunks possible out of Kaiba's life points to prolong the duel.  Malik relished in the fear.  And they all just stood there doing nothing, like they were watching a car crash.  Like they were watching a condemned man be taken away by his executioner._

_            Jounouchi knew the whispered encouragements muttered under his breath that were slowly becoming a mantra meant nothing.  Kaiba couldn't hear him. _

_            "Ridding your body of your soul will be so enjoyable.  Your fears and nightmares are so dark.  So much darker than most."  The demon licked his lips.  The shadows were high enough that they wrapped around Kaiba's neck.  A curl of darkness caressed his cheek and the boy shuddered in revulsion._

_            "Mokuba."  It was whispered so sorrowfully, Kaiba's voice so full defeat.  Mokuba never heard his brother.  Honda had dragged the young boy away earlier when Kaiba's fate became apparent._

_            Then Kaiba's eyes went wide and there was a sharp intake of breath.  His body swayed and crumpled.  It was only then that anyone was brave enough to make contact with him._

At least Isis had been kind enough, practical enough, to close Kaiba's eyelids when they put him in the infirmary.  Jounouchi didn't think he could look at those vacant blue eyes.

But now Kaiba looked like he was just sleeping.  Maybe with nightmares, but nothing more.  He had never noticed quite how _pretty_ Kaiba was.  Kaiba always seemed attractive, in a dangerous way, like a leopard or a wolf.  Beautiful, but you know if you touch it your arm will be ripped off.  And now Kaiba was lying there, asleep.  Defenseless.  His guard down completely.  It was the only chance Jounouchi had ever had to admire high cheekbones and full lips.  Or the paleness of Kaiba's skin in the moonlight.  Or long lashes that fluttered slightly as he nightmared.  

Even during his duel with Malik there had been something alluring about seeing Kaiba in a weakened state.  But then Jounouchi had felt so disgusted with himself for almost becoming aroused that he felt ill.  It was so _wrong_.  Bile rose in his throat and he wanted to vomit.

Still, looking at Kaiba was a luxury that he usually couldn't afford.  Anzu had carried Mokuba to his room after he had fallen asleep crying.  Although Jounouchi was honestly surprised that the other Yugi wasn't there after all the ranting he had done at Malik.  All after the duel was over and nothing could be changed, of course.  But still.

In fairy tales some curse was always put on the damsel in distress.  Somehow the evil witch always ended knocking the beautiful princess unconscious.  Poisoned apple.  Spinning needle.  It didn't really make a difference.  Wasn't everything solved with a kiss, anyway?  No one was there to catch him.  And seeing those still slightly parted lips, Jounouchi couldn't resist.  He bent down and pressed his lips to the sleeping boy's, drinking in their warmth.  Jounouchi was almost tempted to use his tongue.  But he knew it would be wrong.  After a blissful moment he pulled back.

No.

No response.

Of course not.

Why would sleeping beauty boy wake up for _him_?

Jounouchi laughed bitterly and headed back to his room.

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It doesn't matter what happens to the chicks in the show.  Kaiba will always be the damsel in distress.  ^_~

Wow.  Winking after angst.

If you read any of my other fics, chapters of Mercy and Escape are in progress.  And I'm changing what was going to be the plot of Try.  Still, don't expect updates anytime soon.

Review.  Please.

-Nyako-chan (Who hates college applications)

"I am a DJ, I am what I plaaaaaaay.  I've got believers!" DJ, David Bowie.  It's stuck in my head… damn it…


	2. Dream

Grrr… look what you do to me!  This was going to be a one-shot, but then people are like "Update!"  So I think, "There's no way I could continue this… unless…" and plot bunnies start bugging me!  It's not fair!

Warnings: As we are in Seto's own little hell right now, there's general unpleasant-ness.  Really not fun at all.  Jeez… I feel like I'll end up pushing R if I keep writing this the way it's going… But don't let that deter you!  Forge on, brave warriors, forge on!  Read the scary fanfic!

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It was dark all around.  And some child-like part of Seto's mind was already huddled in a corner, frightened, rocking back and forth.  Because you couldn't see in the dark.  Because when it was dark, all the nasty things could hide.  All the monsters and fathers and Pharaohs.   They could be creeping up behind you and you wouldn't know it because you couldn't see them.  And it was the things that you couldn't see that always got you and tore at you and ripped you into shreds for fun, laughing, laughing, laughing as you bled all over.  And the rational part of Seto's mind was annoyed at the childish doubts and fears.  Because he was grown up and he knew that the monsters under the bed didn't exist.

            But there would always be skeletons in the closet.

            No matter how much you grew up you couldn't change that.

_            He had been naughty again so they told him to sit down and be quiet and not move.  And he knew that he was in trouble and that Mommy and Daddy would be upset if he talked back or acted too smart or did anything he wasn't supposed to.  So he sat still and didn't move and didn't even tap his feet and he wished he had a book to read-_

_            And they knocked his book to the ground.  And he guessed he had upset the other boys earlier, probably for defending Mokuba, that was always how it happened.  But they were angrier than usual so now they were holding him down and tying his feet together and his hands behind his back.  And they said that they were just trying to teach him a lesson and that it was really for his own good.  But he knew it was punishment, hazing, as they told him that they would come back to get him later and shoved him into a closet-_

_            It seemed liked hours passed and Gozaburo pulled him out roughly by his arm.  He felt something snap in his shoulder, he felt it pop.  He knew he would have to get it back into its socket and that was always bothersome.  But now it felt like his shoulder was on fire.  And his back stung.  There were welts and the long gashes kept oozing. If that hadn't been his punishment closet he would have made comments about needing to repaint it to cover the blood.  He involuntarily let out a cringe as an old wound re-opened.  And Gozaburo laughed-_

_            At some joke some business man said.  Kaiba Corp. was buying out another company, but they were actually paying a decent sum for once.  He sat there uncomfortable, because the same pair of eyes had been glued on him since the beginning, leering.  He was almost positive that this man owned the company, or at least he was someone else important .  All the men were filing out now, but those eyes stayed.  And Gozaburo looked at the man and smiled, saying something to the man in hushed tones that he couldn't hear.  The two shook hands, both grinning smugly.  Gozaburo pulled him into another room, explaining what he was supposed to do.  And he was outraged, who wouldn't be.  He refused over and over.  Gozaburo just smiled and said it would be better this way, anyways.  So he pulled out the restraints-_
    
    _               And so they offered him up, bound like a sacrificial lamb. They readied him for the slaughter and he died over and over and over again. And it hurt so much. Pain was spreading through him, flowing through his veins. He was going to be split in half. Couldn't that man see that? Couldn't they see he was dying? It hurt so much and it hurt and it hurt and he wanted it to stop. This wasn't supposed to be happening! No matter how hard he struggled he couldn't move. And he wanted so desperately to escape. But what was the point? This wasn't his body anymore. It was someone else's. It was someone else's dirty, defiled body. Not his, not his. It couldn't be. So he stopped struggling and let that some one else take over. Because the real him had been defeated-_
    
    _               Because he had lost the duel. He had lost. That never happened. But now this demon with manic eyes was grinning so smugly and trapping him in his own hell.  Trapping in him in a small dark space with his own demons. All alone-_

_            Trying to pick up the pieces of his soul. But they cut his hands and they wouldn't even fit together properly. Why couldn't he just go back to being who he was? Why wouldn't they let him? He was tired of being a chameleon and it felt so much better when he finally glued his identity together and covered the whole thing in cement. He had been tossed on stormy waves his entire life and it was so tiring and it was so much better just to sink for a change. Just to stop struggling and fall below the water and let himself go numb. But now they had taken that away from him, they were going to make him stop being Kaiba. And if he couldn't be Kaiba anymore, well then who was he?_

_And he wanted to scream at the Pharaoh to stop because he was hurting.  But that was exactly what he wanted.  He wanted him to scream and cry so he bit down on his lip and tongue and he could taste the blood in his mouth.  And why was he always so horrible just to him, what had he done to deserve this?  He wished he had killed him right away so he wouldn't have to feel those hands in his hair and on his hips and the slickness between his legs because he was bleeding.  And he was bleeding so badly and it was getting all over and the Pharaoh** knew that he had a hard time getting the blood to stop flowing and that the smallest cuts just bled and bled.  But why would he care?  He had somehow upset him and he didn't know how to make it better so he could make it stop.  But he knew it wouldn't stop because he wanted it to stop.  So he would keep hurting and hurting-**_

_            And he was tired of hurting.  He would make the pain stop if he had to kill the Pharaoh.  If the Pharaoh had to kill him!  He would make it end because he was tired of feeling dirty and used and violated.  He would kill the Pharaoh and become the Pharaoh.  That was the only way._

_            And now he was condemned to die.  But he didn't even respect him enough to give him the relief of an execution.  So now he would starve to death, slowly rot away with his hands bound while they watched and laughed at his weakened state…_
    
                And he was tired of fighting demons and struggling against his restraints and trying to break out of the cage of an identity that he had been shoved into.  Nothingness was so appealing now, he had never had a chance at nothing. So Seto stopped fighting and let the approaching darkness consume him.
    
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    I feel so evil.
    
    Oh well.
    
    Next Chapter: Probably Jounou Vs. Yami fun.  With commentary from Yami Malikers, of course.  Translation: I've got an idea!  Let's play with Jounou's head until he's emotionally screwed over!
    
    Review because you're nice and you'd actually like to see some real JouKai here, instead of Jounou feeling guilty for getting pervy ideas of things to do with an unconscious Seto.
    
    -Nyako-chan ("She just the girl, she's just the girl, the girl you want!" –Girl U Want, Devo.  Why are you in my head?)


	3. Duel

*Munches on cookies* Mmmmm… disturbingly good.  The authors notes here will be a bit longer this time, they now house a rant.  Skip if you want, but I think it reveals quite a bit about this story and about me as a writer.  The Yu-Gi-Oh fandom is flawed in many, many ways.  One of them, of course, being Mary Sues.  Another is the incredible overabundance of "rape fics."  Now I'm not involved in a lot of series, but it seems like there are more instances of rape in Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction than any other fandom I've looked at.  I wrote the last chapter in almost a stream of consciousness style.  I just typed until I was done with a rough draft (I suppose that doesn't say anything good about me).  I was incredibly reluctant while editing Ch. 2 to include those parts.  But in the end I decided to.  The scene is neither graphic, nor hyper-sexualized.  I did not try to write a "sexy rape" because rape is never, _never sexy.  It is an act of violence and degradation that ruins people's lives.  Also, I've tried to use this more for the purpose of exposition and character development as opposed to a plot device where someone gets raped so they can be saved and comfort-fucked.  Not cool.  As for the torture, once again I tried not to get too graphic.  But torture is a cannon part of Seto's life.  Seto has been sent to his own hell, and all of it is parts of his past.  It's not pretty.  It's unsettling.  And that's what I intended it to be._

I assure the readers of this story that I would never have something as senseless as rape occur without reason, and it will apply to future chapters and/or the sequel I'm thinking about (but not guaranteeing).

Alta-sama, thank you for stating your opinion.  To be honest, that's the type of review I prefer, one with actual criticism or specific parts that are like or disliked.  As for the other readers (because all your reviews were similar, at least to me), I'm happy that you've enjoyed this disturbing little fanfiction so far.  And my cookies are yummy.

**Warnings: Yaoi.  Sexual references.  Angst.  Violence.  Cursing.  Teenage boys in general.  Poorly written dueling because I had to even though I don't play and I don't know how to write a duel.  And a more coherent than usual Yami Malik playing mind games, implanting thoughts in people's heads, and just being a complete and total bastard (AKA himself).        **

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_It was so dark.  And cold too.  He couldn't see a thing.  Where was he?_

_"Jounouchi…"_

_Kaiba?__  Was… was that him?  It sounded like him but he couldn't tell._

_"Jounouchi…" The voice sounded anguished.  It had to be Kaiba.  But why?  Why was he here in the dark in the cold?  It didn't make sense.  A pained cry startled him out of his confusion._

_"No!  Stop!  Please!"  And he was running towards the voice because Kaiba was in danger and screaming and hurting and he couldn't let that happen.  He wouldn't.  And he couldn't see where he was going but he could follow the voice._

_"Kaiba… Don't worry… I'm coming…" He was running as fast as he could._

_"Please…please stop…" The words were softer but he knew he was getting closer, he had to be!_

_"No…" And he could see the faint silhouette of the other boy in the distance._

_"Kaiba…" He was almost there, he…_

_"Jounouchi."__  And then there was silence.  And Kaiba vanished._

Jounouchi sat up panting.

He didn't want to think now.  He felt sick.  He wanted to be alone.

Soft laughter echoed across the room.

"Have a good dream?"  Ignore Otogi's teasing.  Ignore Honda's concerned gaze.  Stand up.  Walk to the bathroom.  Lock the door.  It wasn't that difficult.

He punched the wall.  _"Damn it.  What's wrong with me?  Why do I always have to keep thinking of him?"_

Ever since the first time he had seen the blue-eyed boy, some part of Jounouchi had ached for him in ways he couldn't understand.  Some part him went hungry and desperate and needy.  And it wanted so badly that sometimes Jounouchi thought he would go insane.  The longing had manifested itself as physical pain.  It tore at his insides and he got so angry and bitter that Kaiba could make him feel like this, because no one else had.  So he would fight, so he could feel Kaiba's touch.  Let himself be thrown, even though he would be thinking,_ "I want to be the one throwing you.  I want to be the one to pin **you down."  It was weak and pathetic.  But he could live with lust.  This he couldn't understand. **__ "I'm supposed to hate you.  Why can't I hate you like you hate me?"_

"Are you okay?"  Ignore or respond?  Honda would bother him until he got an answer.  _"What do you think?  I'm punching holes in the bathroom wall and I think I'm gonna puke.  If that fits your definition of okay than you're more screwed up than I thought you were."_

"I'm fine.  Don't worry about it."  He knew Honda knew he was lying.  But Honda would let it pass for now.  He had to go duel Yugi.  Or Yami.  Whoever decided to take charge.  He tried to walk past his friend.  Pretend nothing was happening.

"You were saying his name in your sleep."

Jounouchi stopped.

"He's hurting.  I _know_ he is.  Or he was.  It's like… he just stopped existing."  He turned around.  "You must think I'm insane right?"  His voice was panicked.  "It's just the stress getting to me, right?  That's the only reason why I'm thinking these things."  He wasn't supposed to think like this.  His brain wasn't supposed to work this way.

"Jounouchi."  Honda put his hand on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes so sadly.  He knew something had to be wrong.  "Jounouchi… I didn't want to tell you this before your duel.  I didn't want you to be distracted, but…"

"What?  What's wrong?"  Something bad had happened, he thought it had before but now he knew it.

"Earlier this morning Kaiba stopped breathing."  Something inside of him twisted painfully.  "A doctor was there so they hooked him up to a respirator-"

"It doesn't look good, does it?"

Honda didn't say anything.

"You don't have to answer.  I already know."

Apparently Yami thought Yugi wouldn't be as aggressive when facing his friend.  So now the two quasi-friends/rivals for the moment were facing of in front of a small crowd consisting of Honda, Otogi, and the psychotic Egyptian bastard.  The last time he was here Kaiba was dueling.  He was standing where Yami was, panicking, trying to seem strong and failing miserably.  _"Did you know when you started this thing that you were going to end up in a hospital bed at the end of it?  With all of her talking about being able to predict the future, I bet __Isis__ didn't see this."  He could still see the boy being enveloped by darkness.  Jounouchi shook his head.  Damn.  It was his turn now, wasn't it?  What face down card had Yami just played?  Was that his trap face?  Or his "I think you think this is a trap but it's really some rare-ass magic card that you've never heard of" face?  Damn.  He had gotten so good at reading Yugi's darker half, especially during the whole Noa thing.  But now he couldn't figure anything out, he couldn't concentrate.  Yami looked at him disapprovingly.  Jounouchi wasn't even really playing and Yami only wanted the best opponents.  Shoddy work wouldn't cut it.  Kaiba felt the same way._

Damn.  Not again.

He played Jinzo.

So it was a trap after all.

Yami's monster was destroyed.  He smiled, pleased that the competition might be warming up.  _"No such luck man.  I'm screwed and I know it.  Jinzo was a lucky draw."_  Wasn't Jinzo the deck master of one of the Big Five?  He dueled Kaiba, didn't he?  He was worried for Kaiba then too… damn!  Damn, damn, _damn.  __"Stop thinking about him.  He doesn't matter.  Concentrate on the duel."  But Kaiba was hurting.  And he wasn't breathing anymore.  Would he be colder now?  Would his lips feel cold?  He almost put his fingertips to his own lips in response.  Kaiba must have used some fancy brand of chapstick.  And now that he was hooked up to a respirator Jounouchi probably wouldn't have the chance to kiss him again.  Damn Malik._

He thought he heard a laugh.

"When this whole thing is over, I think I'll take the pretty one and make him my pet.  He looks so good when he's helpless."  Malik purred and licked his lips.  Jounouchi growled and quit trying to concentrate.

"Shut up!  _Shut up!_  Don't talk about him like that!"  It took all his self-restraint not to jump off the platform and try to pound away at Malik.  "Don't talk about him like that, you've got no right!"  And the Egyptian just laughed. 

"I've got more right than you.  Even if he weren't the most frigid thing in the universe, do you honestly think he would let you _fuck him?  Do you think he would submit to you as you violate him, getting your dirty hands all over his body?"_

"I want it to be more than that…"  And he did.  He really, really did.  A part of himself that he shoved to the back of his mind longed for cold afternoons spent cuddled up together and he would tease Kaiba, diverting his attention from whatever he was reading.  He wanted to watch the sakura trees, watch the leaves change color.  All with Kaiba.  All with him.

"Really?  You can tell yourself that as much as you like, but you know that neither of you are capable of love, at least not that kind.  He's had all the love beaten out of him.  And you, well you'll end up just like your father.  Don't delude yourself into thinking it's love when lust is the only thing running through your veins."  Jounouchi knew he had thought bad things too.  Twisted, dark things.  Fantasies powered by lust and greed and the desire to have power over the one who drove him to the brink of insanity.  Oh god, he wanted to cry right now.  This wasn't how it was supposed to be.  This wasn't how he was supposed to feel.  It… it wasn't right!  But he did think like this.  And these thoughts overpowered the sweet fluffy ones, and he couldn't push them back.  They were making his head hurt. "Why do you think he's the white dragon and you're the black?  He may have had darkness forced upon him, but you've chosen your own impurity."  Malik smiled so knowingly, so smugly, that Jounouchi couldn't think he was anything but right

"Don't let it get to you, Jounouchi!  He's just playing mind games to distract you!"  Yami of course had to act as the righteous duelist, playing fair and kind.  Ruling over all like the Pharaoh he was supposed to have been.  After Kaiba had been put in a coma and Jounouchi was about to need a straight jacket.

"Oh yes, do concentrate.  It will be easier to defeat you than it will the Pharaoh.  And then I can manipulate him even more."  Of course.  That was all what this was about, wasn't it?  Manipulating Yami.  Jounouchi pushed the bad thoughts to the back of his head, and looked up at his opponent wearily.

"You're the only one who knows what the hell is going on here.  And you're the only one who could stand up against his mind games.  My stupid pride doesn't matter anymore.  I won't win.  I can't.  If I duel _him, everyone will be in danger."_

"I forfeit."

He didn't feel like moving so he hadn't.  He hadn't even rolled over when he said "Fuck off" as a response to Honda's knock at the door.  So presumably his friend didn't hear and came in.  That or he had ignored the curse.  Either way, Jounouchi's face was still buried in his pillow.  He felt like wallowing in self-pity and he would do what he wanted.  He shouldn't have felt bad about this.  It was his decision.  He chose to forfeit, so he shouldn't have felt so depressed.  Now Yami was going to defeat Malik and he'd probably take credit for saving Kaiba.  For a while he had toyed with the idea of dueling the Egyptian.  He had thought of what it would be like to win and get credit for saving the world.  For saving Kaiba.  It would be nice.

But then again Kaiba hated being in debt to anyone.  He'd only hate him more.

And it's not like he could win

"Jounouchi."  Stupid Honda trying to coax him into a conversation.  Because stupid Honda had to actually care about his wellbeing.

"G'way."  It was muffled, but Honda should have heard him.

"I know it was tough, but you're acting like a five year old."  And Jounouchi intended on sulking like one, too.  He wasn't going to move.  "Fine then, be a baby."

_"Good.  Give up in frustration.  Leave me alone."_  The door slammed shut.

But moments later it opened again.

"God dammit, Honda!"

"It's not Honda."

That voice had him sitting up immediately.

"Y-you!"  How could he respond to that freak suddenly appearing in his room?  _"Shit, he's gonna kill me, I know he is!  Shit shit shit!  What do I do?"  A soft laugh._

"Yes, me.  I'm not going to kill you, it wouldn't be any fun.  What would the point of it be?"  Malik was staring oddly at the Rod now, a strange smirk appearing on his face.  "It's such a shame that pretty things break so easily.  But you would know about that, wouldn't you?"

A flash of light.

Then it all went black.

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Hi everyone!  How did you like the chapter?  *gets blank stares* Okay then!

Next Chapter:  Jou has lost it.  Hopefully he gets better.  And Honda attempts to clear up Togi's confusion about the nature of Jou and Seto's relationship.  Mokuba is pissed off.

Maybe.  I'm not very good at planning in advance.

So review because Seto is sexy. (What does that have to do with reviewing?) 

-Nyako-chan ("Pretty!  Pretty!"- Me)


	4. Guilt

Wow… I haven't updated in such a long time.  I feel sort of bad(sorry to those who wanted another chapter up quickly).  But this is my third version of this chapter (;_;)  I had to keep changing them because I kept on changing my plans for the sequel.  But I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do now.

As for the future (when Jou and Se-chan actually try to be in a relationship)… Seto is still a little iffy when it comes to touching (because it's been beaten into him that human contact makes you weak), so he's gotta learn to trust people (not easy).  Jou has to struggle with his hormones(sort of like "I want to cuddle… dammit!  Seto's letting me touch him why do I have to start thinking about sex!"), as well as his self-esteem.  There will be lots of fights.  Yes.

Please give me lots of money, I mean read the chapter.

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_Jagged red lines carved into pale flesh and a small child crying for his mother and a Seto who wasn't Seto filling himself with hatred and a cruel smile crossing the child's face as his "father" fell and heartbreak at betrayal by the only family he had left and fragments of glass getting trapped under fingernails and hips and thighs covered in inky bruises and everything was fragmented, it didn't make sense and-_

_"No…please… not again, please not again," whimpered out so softly that no one__ could hear, no one but him-_

_And there was screaming and it was so loud Jounouchi though his ears would bleed and it was Seto but it couldn't be Seto because this one was so much younger and Seto wouldn't scream like that and –_

_The greedy part of his mind that he liked to hide away and pretend never existed came forward it **wanted** and he knew he couldn't stop the wanting it would devour the universe if it had the chance and poor Seto, he wanted him, so Seto would be torn to shreds again and then he saw those bruises and the soft whimpering voice turning into a pained scream and-_

"Jounouchi!"  _Honda?__  But Honda wasn't there with him, just the darkness and violence and blood and all those things that made bile rise up in his throat._

"Jounouchi!"  His eyes snapped open and he realized that he had been clutching his knees to his chest, shaking.

"Oh god… _oh god…_" And he couldn't stop shaking because he kept on seeing it and he didn't even know what he had seen, but it hurt and it made some little part of him want to die.

Honda sighed and dragged Otogi, who had come in with him towards the back of the room.  The black-haired teen was a pain in the ass and he really didn't need the snide comments that he knew were coming.

_"Get out."_  He hissed it so that Jounouchi wouldn't hear… if the blond duelist was actually even paying attention.

"What?  _Why?_"

            "You've never seen Jounouchi messed up before.  It's not pretty.  I've gotta snap him out of it and _you_ better go find something else to do because you'll only get in the way."  

            And for once in his life, Otogi actually listened to Honda and left.

Jounouchi realized there was a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see his friend smiling down at him like he was something to be pitied.  But he couldn't concentrate on that, everything was darting around inside his head.

"Oh god… there was blood everywhere… and screaming…"  He knew he was shaking again.

"Jounouchi.  It was a dream."  How could Honda be so calm?

"But I _hurt_ him!  I know I did.  I hurt him and I'm disgusting and you should get rid of me right now for the benefit of mankind-"

"It was a dream."  Jounouchi knew Honda was getting frustrated, but Honda didn't understand, Honda hadn't heard the screaming and felt the blood all over his body.  Honda didn't know what he was going through.

"You don't get it!  I saw things… I did things… and it was so wrong!  And what Malik had said, he was so right-"  That brought Honda to his breaking point.  He grabbed his friend's shoulders and shook him.

            "Damn it Jounouchi!  Stop letting other people tell you what to think about yourself!  For once in your life make your own opinions!  If you did then maybe you would realize that taking personality assessments from a psycho that likes to lick things and put people in comas isn't exactly a good idea!  He can only fuck with your head because you let him!"

The blond sat up slowly, moving his legs over the edge of the bed.

"I feel sick."

"I know."

            "You should go visit him."  Honda was smiling, hoping that the previous crisis was over.

            "No."  Seeing Kaiba was not an option.

            "Why not?"  Honda was starting to get irritated again.

            "I can't."  He didn't know if he could go in there again.  So Malik had been messing with his head.  But he still felt like shit.  And he didn't know if he wanted to see Kaiba like that.  He was afraid of the emotions he might feel.

            "What, did you lose the ability to move and not tell me?"

            "I kissed him."  He felt so guilty about it, and after having seen those things he felt so dirty.  He was scum.  He shouldn't even have gone in that room.  But Honda just laughed.

"So you stole a kiss from unconscious Kaiba.  Your point?"

            "I shouldn't have done it."

            "Maybe not, but it was a kiss, not the end of the world.  I don't think what you did will land you in jail."

"You never know with me."

"Shut up and go see him, you jackass, stop your fucking pity party.  If you don't go in on your own I'll drag you in there, kicking and screaming, and shout to everyone about how hot you think Kaiba's ass is."  Honda grinned wickedly.

That got Jounouchi to his feet.  He knew his friend would do it.

"Fine, if it makes you happy, I'll go.  Do you feel better now?"  He hoped so, because he certainly didn't.

"Shit.  What is all this stuff for?"  Jounouchi sat down on the edge of the bed, and then, exhausted and ashamed, he lay down on his side.

_"He's… he's so still…"_  Now it wasn't even like he was sleeping.  Mai's facial expression would change every once in a while, tensing at some unseen pain, but Kaiba seemed so… dead.  _"You're too pretty to be a dead boy, though."_  And it was true.  Even when he was hooked up to machines that Jounouchi didn't even know the purpose of, Kaiba still possessed a tragic beauty.  Jounouchi ran his hand through auburn locks, surprised at their softness, and then buried his face in brown hair.  _"You even smell good."_  He felt pathetic.  When Kaiba was awake he didn't know how to act around the taller teen, and would always end up angry and frustrated.  But now that he was unconscious, he could touch the other all he wanted, Kaiba wouldn't know.  Yet some part of him knew that it should have been the other way around, he should have been disturbed by this, edging away instead of cuddling the still body.  _"Why bother?  This is the most I'll ever get, even if he does wake up.  It's not like he'd actually want me.  And everyone thinks he's gonna die anyways.  Might as well take advantage of him not punching me before he's been cremated."  _He closed his eyes and pretended that Kaiba was just asleep, and that he was actually letting this happen.  Jounouchi carefully wrapped his arms around the slender form next to him.  Maybe he was asleep after… he blushed and sighed.  _"I am such a pervert.  Honda really shouldn't trust me so much."_  Something in his chest hurt so much, it hurt so badly.  It ached and he felt empty and like Kaiba was the only thing that could make him happy right now.

            "I knew you would be here."  Jounouchi sat up quickly at the voice, almost getting caught in the many wires.  He flushed guiltily and glared at the all-knowing voice.

            "What, did your friends on the psychic network tell you?"  His face was twisted into an annoyed frown, not exactly happy with having been interrupted.

            "No, common sense."

            "That obvious, huh?"  Jounouchi hoped not.  Honda was okay.  But now that Otogi knew, everyone else would.  He didn't need another person to know about what he felt for Kaiba.  It was embarrassing.

            "Insults don't hide the fact that you stare quite a bit."  A slight smirk crossed her face.  The others might not have noticed, but to her it was quite obvious.  Especially when Jounouchi's head whipped around as Seto walked past him without his trench coat on.  

Jounouchi sighed.

"I just… I just wanted to know what it felt like."  That was allowed, right?  He was allowed to want to know what it would be like to be with Kaiba.  He was allowed to hope, wasn't he?

"I understand.  You care about him more than the others think you do."

"Yes…maybe… I don't know.  I don't know what I feel.  Besides lust.  I feel so screwed up."  He knew he was supposed to be checking out girls and downloading porn off the internet, not fantasizing about making out with Seto Kaiba.  Jounouchi wished he could make sense of the whole situation.  Why couldn't he be more like Honda?  Honda understood everything

"That's only natural.  You're a teenage boy who's realized that he's attracted to another male.  It's to be expected."  Another smile.

"Yeah, maybe to you."  She wasn't the one who had to feel all confused and torn up inside.  It sure as hell didn't feel natural.  Jounouchi looked back at Kaiba.  "Why did he have to end up like this anyways?"

            "By winning against me in the duel, Seto somehow altered the fate that I predicted for him.  He changed his destiny into something else entirely.  I couldn't see his future after the duel, only the past.  If he had only lost… none of this would have happened."  Isis sighed sadly.  She felt guilty over her role in Seto's fate.

            "You can't blame yourself, it's not your fault.  It's your brother's."  Jounouchi crossed his arms defensively.  "Don't look at me like that you know it's true.  He may be possessed by some evil spirit, but he's still your brother.  I can't see why you still care for him and think he can get better."

            "What would you do if Seto was the one acting like this?"

"Well, he's not, right?"  Jounouchi blinked a couple of times, not exactly understanding the question.  "I don't know.  I guess I would try to help him."  He paused.  "Why did you use Kaiba instead of Shizuka?"

"Your sister is rather… naïve.  Seto is very different.  His soul is… restless.  It has always been seeking revenge against the one who wronged him first, even though lifetime after lifetime the memory of the event has faded away.  Now it's just a feeling that he doesn't understand.  It has always been with him, but he doesn't know what it is.  There are many things that I pray he never remembers.  For his sake."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"  That was the question of the moment.  Isis was supposed to be saying all this cryptic shit to Yugi, not him.  He wasn't part of the whole Ancient Egypt, magical past life thing.

"I'd like to think that someone is capable of… saving him.  Maybe it's you."

____________________________________________

So… what do you think?

*crickets chirp*

Yeah, yeah, I know.

So review(please), because if you don't, the Scapegoat gets it! *holds up a mallet and waves it menacingly in the direction of a pink Scapegoat*

-Nyako-Chan (Magical Girl)

"Wow… Chaosshipping is like one big orgy of fantastic goodness!"- Me


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